As Long As He's Not Driving...

All these years, I had suspected Finland of being a rather quiet, low-temperature geological element of Europe. Little did I realize that its inhabitants were, in fact, insane. It seems that the unassuming Fins have achieved that for which American consumer technology designers have striven since the days of the Revolutionary War: they have designd a media format in which Rush Limbaugh is actually tolerable. Haha, no, no, of course you know I jest. It is a well known scientific law that El Rushbo is psychologically toxic to all sentient beings, elliciting nausea, neurological distress, and Conservativism in any human within a five-mile radius. No, what they've actually done is to devise a method whereby a cellular phone can be attatched to a dog. You heard me. According to a recent article on Forbes.com, Finland-based Benefon has joined with Pointer Systems--makers of technology for tracking people--to form a sysem for attatching cell phones to hunting dogs. Now, this may seem at first to be a pretty simple and unremarkeable thing to conceive of, but I'm willing to bet that you didn't think of it. The reasons given for this venture include GPS tracking and--I am very serious--the ability to dial up the dog's number in order to transmit verbal instructions. My only question is: How long would it take the owner to figure out that you and your friends were back in town at a pay telephone instructing Fido to play dead and to lick himself at critical hunting-related moments?