1456 and Counting

As you must know by now unless you live in a deep-sea diving bell off the Galapagos, George W. Bush has officially retained the crown...er, presidency. Kerry made an honorable concession speech a little while ago, during which he expounded on his deep love and respect for the American people, laid out his philosophy for our future, and made clear his commitment to the future of this nation. The cynic in me wonders how differently things might have turned out if only he'd made this speech three months ago, but that's neither here nor there. Largely, I was heartened by his message of continuing liberalism. Frankly, in light of the coming 100-day hyper-conservative circle-jerk, wherein we are going to see the unveiling of what are likely to be the most aggressively regressive social policies to land in little steaming piles all over our civil rights in decades--to say nothing of a continued subscription to the John Wayne Correspondence School of Diplomacy and Foreign Relations and economic planning by Magic Eight Ball--we're going to need every such voice we can find. Anybody have Howard Dean's phone number?

I also want to extend a hearty measure of thanks to all my fellow Americans who braved the Democratic process yesterday. Granted, a majority of you voted for a man I personally loathe and fear: a man whose policies and actions are doing to my country what an industrial wood-chipper does to a gerbil; a man whose first administration has done more damage to our economy than OPEC and New Coke combined; a man who has single-handedly managed to lower the global opinion of the citizenry of this nation, a feat which some speculated was impossible; a man who amuses our enemies and incites fear in his own people; a man who we know for a fact to have all the rectitude of a diseased bonefish, and who has been proven beyond doubt to have perpetrated upon the nation and the world some of the most flagrant acts of deception attempted in recent history; a man who...well, you get the idea. Yes, in spite of all this, I want to thank you for actually taking the time to exercise your democratic rights. For all I know, it may have been your last chance. And to all of you useless heaps of semi-sentient protoplasm who couldn't even be bothered to tear your bloodshot gazes away from the torrential shit-sluice of pre-digested vapidity gushing from your precious television sets long enough to cast a ballot, I have another message: You do not matter. I'm not talking about those of you who, for one reason or another, could not vote. But as for the rest of you, the ones who simply could not manage to take enough of an interest in the future of your nation to vote, you are beneath the notice of the rest of us. I don't want to hear your opinions, I don't care what your problems are, and I don't particularly wish to be bothered with your existence. If it were up to me, you would have just forfeited what few constitutional rights you have left. You don’t want to participate in the processes of your government, you shouldn’t expect your government to give a hemorrhaging fuck about you. Don’t like it? Go fail to vote in some other country.

But to the rest of you, even you loveable conservatives, thanks for taking the time to play our little game.

So now what? What do those of us who maintain something more than a nodding acquaintance with reality do for the next four years? Do we take it to the streets? Do we hide beneath our sofas eating Spam and blogging via Wi-Fi? Or do we take a cue from our leaders and simply disconnect ourselves from the rest of the universe and live out our lives in a self-centric alternate world all our own, and leave the rest of mankind to fend for themselves? I know that many of the fine people of this, our little blogtopia, are opting for one or the other of these options, and I can’t say I blame you. Most, however, seem to espouse a more adaptive, live-to-fight-another-day approach. After all, reconciliation is the path of least resistance. This being the case, there seems to have developed a trend of establishing ‘pledges’ to guide one’s behavior in the days and months ahead--some I would much rather sign my name to than others. This, naturally, is bullshit; I reserve my right, as a violent reactionary, to hate anyone I choose whenever I choose. But, hey, whatever gets you through the night.

If anybody needs me, I'll be under the sofa.

P.S.: Peace to the Fallen