Baleful Chronology

I do seem to have the most abysmal timing with these things. I finally start feeling my oats and set my face to the figurative wind, all ready to begin churning out reams of introspection, philosophy, political musings, and random, inexplicable--and possibly illegal--notions just at the one point in the year when I have absolutely no time whatsoever to devote to such things. At this moment, I conservatively estimate that there are no fewer than 37.5 things on my to-do list more imminently pressing than derivative satire-verse, and approximately 1,074 whose precedence outweighs that of culinary masochism, but, selfless blogHero that I am, I bring them to you nonetheless.