It Should Be Illegal...

To be this friggin' stupid.

Have you ever done something so stupid, so embarrassingly idiotic that you had to stop suddenly and look around to make sure no one was watching?
Just now, I sat here in front of my trusty computer, blazing my tottering, slew-footed one-man path through the uncharted heart of darkest Internet, all the while chewing grimly on the end of a fluorescent yellow highliter. A fateful popup diverted my attention for a moment, and in that moment I realized that I had shipped a mouthful of fruity-tasting day-glo slime.

That's right.

I chewed my way through the damned thing.

Right the fuck on through.

Damned if I'll ever forget the sight of that little glob of luminous yellow muck bleeding through the water in the toilet bowl, lingering grudgingly, almost accusingly, like the final trace of some act of unspeakable evil...

Fortunately, nobody saw anything, so I felt a little better for a while. Then I thought to myself:

This is far from the dumbest thing I've ever done.

Didn't taste too bad, though...